The Utterly Impossible
by The Angry Black Woman
Summary: The result of 4 a.m. boredom: A series of stories pertaining to the utterly impossible. Basically, a collection of things that would never happen in DBZ. *Story 4*
1. Story 1

This is the start of what I hope to be many more stories. These are basically "What If..." stories that I thought of. The first one is what it might be like if the Z-warriors were black, although it basically just focuses on a day in the Son household if they were black. There's still ki and Saiyans and all that in the fic... just... black Saiyans. That sounds really funny to me. Imagine Trunks being black with his lavender hair. Anyway, as for where in the DBZ timeline this fits in, let's just say it's after Buu, because Videl and Goku appear in it.   
  
Disclaimer: If I owned this, would I be writing something as stupid as this for a website and not get paid for it? I think not.   
  
  
The Utterly Impossible  
  
Story 1: What if the Z-warriors were black?  
  
Chichi was at her stove, cooking dinner for her family and her sons' two visitors when she heard a loud popping sound and a scream coming from Gohan's room. She cocked her head to side, but decided not to worry about it and continued preparing the enormous amount of soul food.   
  
"Ow, Videl!" Gohan said as he rubbed the sour spot on his head. "Pop me in the head one mo' time and I swear to Dende I'll-"  
  
"Oh shut up and be still!" Videl snapped, interrupting him. She was positioned behind him on his bed, braiding his unruly hair into cornrows with him sitting on the floor before her. He was way too tender-headed for her liking, so she had to hit him with her comb more than once to get him to stay still, which he was getting sick and tired of.   
  
In the end, he decided to comply with her request. There was one thing that every black man was scared of (well, most of them), and that was his woman. But of course he had to mutter his occasional insults to reassure himself that "he was still a man", which she pretended not to notice.   
  
What she did notice, however, was Gohan's 2-way pager beep the tune of "Unleash the Dragon" by Sisqo (A/N: One of my stupid and horribly corny jokes. Did you catch on?), indicating that he had an incoming page. He walked over to where it was positioned on his desk, pulling up his saggy pants in the process, Timberland boots stomping the whole way, and looked at it with a grin. Videl was more than a little pissed as she stormed over to the grinning Son, suspicion evident as she spoke, "What the hell is you grinnin' at? It's one of yo hoes, ain't it? I knew you was cheatin on me! You asshole!"   
  
Gohan was about to protest and clear his name, but Videl just wouldn't shut up and she was repeatedly hitting him upside his head and snapping her fingers as she insulted him. Finally he had enough and pushed the 2-way right into her face, much to her surprise.   
  
"Look and see who paged me!" He snapped. "I don't think Piccolo would appreciate you callin' him 'one of my hoes'."   
  
Videl muttered an, "Oh... my bad."  
  
Gohan just smiled and pulled her close to him. "Don't worry. You da only ho I want." She frowned at him, but before she could comeback he silenced her with a kiss.   
  
Meanwhile, outside, two mischievous little boys sat on the grass bored out of their minds. They'd already blown up a few things with ki blasts, played a few jokes on people, and sparred. They didn't know what else to do. Suddenly, Trunks shot up when he had an idea.   
  
"I know what we can do!" he exclaimed as Goten sat up to look him in the eye.  
  
"What?" Goten asked.   
  
"The Dozens (a.k.a. the "Yo Mama Joke Game")," Trunks replied, grinning.   
  
Goten matched his grin. He'd totally forgotten the game they enjoyed almost as much as eating and fighting. "Good idea. You start."  
  
Trunks nodded and thought for a good joke he hadn't used on Goten. He smiled when he finally got it. "Yo mama's so stupid, she got fired from the M & M factory for throwing away the W's!"  
  
Goten pretended to be outraged, but in all reality he didn't know what the joke meant. "Well, yo mama's so stupid she... uh.... she...." He rubbed the back of his head as he thought while Trunks sweat dropped. "I got it now! Yo mama's so stupid, when I said it was chilly outside, she went and got a bowl!"  
  
"Yo mama's so fat," Trunks started. "Her belt size is equator!"  
  
"Yo mama's so bald I can see what's on her mind!"   
  
"Yo mama's so black, when she gets into a car the oil light comes on!"  
  
"Good one."  
  
"Thank you."  
  
They continued to throw a barrage of insults pertaining to each other's mother's weight, intelligence, and physical appearance (the very essence of the wonderful game of "The Dozens") until they heard Chichi calling them in for dinner. They ran in excitedly, already smelling the aromas of the delicious assortment of soul food that she had prepared.   
  
Gohan, Goten, Trunks, and Videl sat down to a table covered with collard greens, cornbread, sweet potato pie, black eyed peas, fried chicken, and much more, as Chichi put a pitcher of Kool-aid on the table to complete the meal. The 3 half-Saiyans' mouths watered (A/N: Mine too!) as they immediately began chowing down.   
  
"I wonder where Goku's at?" Chichi muttered as she began to eat.   
  
As if on command Goku materialized at the table, startling everyone. He had a huge blunt in his mouth, smoke pouring off of it and engulfing him, making him looked like a Jamaican drug dealer. He took a long puff, exhaled, and then said, "Hey, Chi. What's up everybody?" He took another puff and pushed it in his wife's view. "Wanna hit, Chi?"  
  
Chichi pushed it away and sent a look to him that clearly said, "Why are you smoking in front of the kids?"   
  
Goku rolled his eyes. "C'mon, Chi. It's not like they don't already know we smoke weed. They ain't stupid." Chichi sunk her head down, feeling the kids' stares momentarily as Goku took another puff and choked as he sat down. "And I know they smart enough to wait befo' they even think about startin' this habit." He put the blunt in a conveniently placed ashtray as he served himself some food. "Besides, I caught Gohan and Videl doin' somethin' more... interestin' than smokin' a blunt yesterday. Worry about the 'habit' they picked up."   
  
Goku grinned and winked at his son. Videl sank low in mortification, and Gohan kept eyeing his mother to see her reaction. Chichi sat rigid as a board, looking embarrassed, surprised, and pleased at the same time (A/N: Hey, this is Chichi we're talking about. Black, white, Japanese, purple, whatever. She'll always want grandchildren). Trunks was laughing while Goten looked confused.   
  
"What do you mean, dad?" Goten asked curiously.   
  
He was about to answer when Trunks cut him off, "He means that they was fuckin' yesterday, Goten."  
  
Chichi looked outraged at his language and Goku had to stifle a smile at the scene. Videl still looked embarrassed but Gohan didn't seemed phased and Goten still looked confused.   
  
Chichi stood up and screamed, "Get yo little filthy-mouthed ass outside and get a switch!"   
  
Trunks stood up and crossed his arms over his chest. "You ain't my mama. You can't tell me what to do."  
  
Chichi gave him that look, that terrifying look that only a mother could give, and Trunks quickly retreated outside to get a "switch". (A/N: For the non-black, non-southern, or for those of you who aren't used to getting whipped as a punishment, a "switch" as my family and probably a lot more black families call it, is a long branch from a nearby tree or a stick that's used for whippings. I'm so glad I'm too old for that now!)   
  
A few moments later, the muffled cries and failed attempts at stifling laughter were heard from the Son house throughout the 439 Mountain Area of wherever it was that they lived in Japan.   
  
*~*~*~*  
Whoa, I had way too much fun writing that. Hehehe. Anyway, this is just the beginning. I'm planning writing one about the Z-warriors getting high, and anything else I can think of that would never happen on DBZ, simply because it wouldn't make sense with the plot or it was way too outrageous, stupid, or impossible. And let me just say that I'm not prejudice or anything, I'm black, 3/4 black, and I just wondered what would happen if they were black and this is what I came up with. "The Dozens" and the "switch" were both part of my life believe me. And about the "Unleash the Dragon" thing, for those of you who didn't catch on, it was a corny joke I used linking "Dragonball Z" to the song. Get it, unleash the dragon? Probably not. Anyway, review and tell me what you think. Flames and suggestions happily accepted! 


	2. Story 2

Here's the second story to my fic. I'm really surprised I got reviews so quickly. My other two fics, that I encourage you to check out, didn't go so well so quickly. No, I'm not going to continue on with the plot from the last story. Maybe I'll make a part 2 sometime, but not right now. For now, I just want to make different little stories in one fic, kind of like one of those Chicken Soup for the Soul books or a book of Nursery Rhymes, where the next story is totally unrelated to the previous one. Well, enjoy the next installment where Goku and his buddies get stoned! (And keep in mind, this isn't black Goku.)  
  
Special Thanks to Reviews from:   
Luna Inverse  
Sereday  
candigirl9865  
Vejiita's Toranoko  
Stacey  
  
I didn't think it was all that funny, but I was apparently wrong. : )  
  
Disclaimer: Nothing except the concept of my stories are mine. And even that is probably unoriginal.   
  
  
The Utterly Impossible  
  
Story 2: What if the Z-warriors got high?  
  
Goku smiled to himself as he flew in the direction of Capsule Corp., hoping for a good spar with Vegeta. But as he landed in front of the dome-shaped house, he felt that something was wrong.   
  
Outside the Gravity Room, or GR, he didn't feel Vegeta's ki rising or hear any blasts or explosions from inside. All he heard were muffled voices and coughing sounds, and a few shouted obscenities that he was sure came from Vegeta. Slowly, he cracked open the door and was immediately engulfed in a haze of smoke and an unfamiliar smell. He tried not to choke as he listened to the people inside.  
  
"Vegeta, pass the damn thing!" Krillin whined as he sat in the little circle that had gathered in the GR. He'd brought a "special little treat" with him when he came to visit Bulma that day, and Vegeta insisted that they go into the GR, so they wouldn't get caught by Trunks or Bulma's parents. Yamcha and 18 had joined the scene as well, and they were all shouting and cussing because Vegeta was enjoying it too much.   
  
"Keep your shirt on, you pitiful excuse for a man!" Vegeta yelled after choking and handing the joint to Bulma instead of Krillin.   
  
Krillin just growled and waited impatiently for the joint to reach him, finally feeling it's effects at full force.   
  
"Whoa..." Yamcha said after he took a puff of it, waving his hand in the air, slowly. "My hand is so cool... it's like... big... and... stuff..."  
  
At that time, Bulma and 18 were laughing about nothing, Goku was confused, Yamcha continued to be completely engrossed in his "big" hand, and Krillin was once again complaining about Vegeta taking too long.   
  
"Shut up or you'll be dead in a second!" Vegeta spat before taking another puff.   
  
"What are you guys doing?" Goku asked, curiously. Whatever they appeared to be smoking seemed to be making them happy, since the women couldn't stop laughing and Krillin was practically begging Vegeta for it. He wanted some too, seeing the effects of it on his friends.   
  
Vegeta finally handed the joint over to Krillin, finally feeling it's effects, as he grinned at Goku. "We're getting high, Kakkarot."  
  
He then started to laugh and it made Goku a little nervous, as did Yamcha, who was now grabbing onto Goku's leg and muttering something about his hand being too big.   
  
"What do you mean, 'getting high',?" Goku was really confused.   
  
After Bulma had a coughing fit and passed the joint, she managed to say, "We're smoking weed, Goku. It makes you high."  
  
"Wanna hit?" 18 said, then went into another giggling fit.   
  
"Uh..." Goku hesitated, but then decided it couldn't be that bad, since it made his friends so cheerful. "Sure.."  
  
He took the joint from 18 and took a puff. Immediately afterward he began to have a coughing fit, but in the end, he decided he liked the stuff, and it was quite a while before he passed it on to anyone else. By then he was seeing pink elephants and blue blobs that wanted to take away all of his food, which scared him shitless, and he kept looking over his shoulder, but otherwise he liked this weed thing.   
  
"Dude!" Yamcha exclaimed, still staring at his hand. "My hand is talking to me! Hello, Mr. Hand. How are you today? You're fine? I'm high..."  
  
Yamcha continued to have a conversation with his hand, while Goku cowered from a huge needle that wanted to give him a shot, 18 and Bulma still laughed hysterically, and Krillin and Vegeta fought over the joint. In the end, Vegeta smoked the rest of it, but by then, they were all sobering up, all except for Yamcha, who was talking to his hand about marriage proposals.   
  
"Damn," Krillin said miserably as Vegeta put the joint in the nearby ashtray. "No more weed."  
  
"The old man doesn't have any?" Vegeta asked, referring to Master Roshi.   
  
"Not a chance," 18 answered.   
  
"Fuck!" Bulma screamed, now realizing their dilemma. "I wanted to get high some more!"  
  
"Me too!" Goku exclaimed, grinning from ear to ear. "It was fun except for the mean needles and elephants that wanted to give me a shot."  
  
"My hand says I'm sexy," Yamcha said, grinning as he stroked his hand with his other hand.   
  
Everyone stared at him and smiled nervously. "Um... right..."  
  
Then they heard a knock at the door and Vegeta went up to answer it, with Bulma behind him, panicking that it was her mother or Trunks wondering where they were. But it was someone that neither of them expected. It was Piccolo.   
  
"What are you doing here, Piccolo?" Bulma asked curiously.   
  
Piccolo smiled, which was odd for him. "I thought you guys could use a little... uh... distraction."  
  
Krillin grinned. "Oh, we've had our share of that."  
  
"Well I figured you needed more," Piccolo said as he lifted his turban. Underneath was a lighter, some zig-zags, and a 20 sack of weed.   
  
"Fire it up!" 18 shouted, happily, as Piccolo, Bulma, and Vegeta sat down in the circle.   
  
"Where'd you get this, Namek?" Vegeta asked after taking his usually long puff and passing it on.   
  
"Mr. Popo grows it," Piccolo said, matter-of-factly. "Why else do you think we keep him up there?"  
  
Everyone else started to laugh, the women for too long, as usual, and once again Goku saw the dreaded pink elephants and giant needles, and the floor even began to move under him, or so he thought. Piccolo looked strangely drowsy and calm, and Vegeta and Krillin continued to fight over the joint. But when it was passed to Yamcha, he declined it.   
  
"Me and my hand need some uh... quality time," He replied as he went out of the GR, stroking his hand.   
  
The rest of the group sweatdropped and murmured a, "Um... right..."  
  
*~*~*~*~*  
Hahaha! I couldn't resist making Yamcha sound so stupid! I don't get to do it in my other fics. Anyway, I hope I did this well enough, I've never gotten high before but I suspect it has to be something like this... and if I totally exaggerated, I'm sorry! I figured it would be funnier this way anyway. Well, review and tell me what you think, and thanks again to all of you who reviewed the last story. Peace out! 


	3. Story 3

Hello all. I was watching a Hispanic soap today, why I don't know, because I don't speak very good Spanish. Hmm... must be the Mexican in me... But my point is, the soap gave me an idea. The GT teens in a soap! I know that idea's been overdone, but I'm sure no one can make it as outrageous as me! But I have read one where Gohan was having an affair with almost every single character and then some... but that's beside the point! I named it "More Than One Life To Live" from the soap "One Life To Live" because since they can be wished back, they have more than one life to live, right? I hope you enjoy this, it is definitely another one of my creations spawned out of total boredom, mild insanity, and being sleep deprived.   
  
Special Thanks To Reviews From:  
Vaarj  
VegetaGokuLover  
Luna Inverse  
Autumn  
The Laughing Baboon  
Angel of the Dragon  
  
Disclaimer: The story you are about to read is the fruit of my very wild, adolescent imagination, however, the characters that appear belong to none other than Akira Toriyama himself.   
  
  
Story 3: The GT teens in a soap opera?   
  
Weird-And-Annoying-Announcer-Guy-That-Always-Seems-To-Pop-Up-In-Every-Show: And now back to, "More Than One Life To Live".   
*~*~*~*  
  
Trunks looked at the raven-haired beauty that laid next to him, entangled in his sheets, smiling at him. (A/N: Hmmm... what were they doing?? Hehehe...) She wiped some of the lavender hair from his face after she propped herself up on her elbow.   
  
"I love you so much, Pan," Trunks said. "I'm so glad Ubuu doesn't know you're having an affair with me."  
  
"I love you too, Trunks," Pan smiled. "But we've got to tell him sooner or later. And you've got to tell Marron too."  
  
Trunks frowned, thinking of the blonde he was cheating on. "Yeah, I suppose you're right. But it's fun sneaking around, isn't it?" They both laughed insanely until the door burst open.   
  
"What the hell is going on here?" The voice came from the woman in question, a very pissed off Marron.  
  
~*~  
  
Bra grinned evilly as she looked at the weapon in her hands. She played around with it in her mirror, going into different poses, enjoying every minute of it. She had to admit, she looked good with a gun.   
  
"Bra, you can't be seriously considering this," came Goten's pleading voice as he stood behind the blue-haired girl.   
  
She turned to him with an angry expression on her face, her blue eyes blazing. "Why shouldn't I? If my plan works out, I'll be rich for sure."  
  
"You already are rich," Goten pointed out.   
  
"Well... richer then!" Bra replied.   
  
"But killing is not the answer, Bra-chan," Goten almost pouted, wanting desperately to change her mind.  
  
"Shut up or I'll kill you too!" She snapped, pointing the gun to Goten. He raised his arms up and backed away, reluctantly. She sighed. "If you promise to keep your mouth shut, I'll split the money with you." When she noticed that his worried frown wasn't diminishing, she added, "Better yet, I'll buy you a cake bigger than my dad's head."   
  
Goten's eyes lit up, and he immediately turned into his normally cheerful self. "Ok, Bra-chan!"   
  
Bra rolled her eyes as she cocked the gun. "Ok, now distract her for me so I can make my move."   
  
~*~  
  
"Marron?" Trunks said nervously as she struggled to dress himself. "W-What are you doing here?"  
  
"I could ask her the same question," Marron growled, pointing at Pan who was also struggling to get into her clothes on.   
  
"Well... uh... we were... uh..." Trunks stuttered, but was luckily interrupted when another person burst through the door.   
  
"What the hell?" It was Ubuu. "I knew it!" He pointed to Pan. "You're cheating on me with Trunks!"  
  
"Yes, I am," Pan said, although not ashamed. "But Trunks and I are in love, and..... I'm carrying his child."  
  
Everyone else gasped as cheesy, soap opera music was heard in the background, you know, the kind that they play when something, weird, dramatic, or all of the above happens.   
  
"But I thought it was my baby?" Ubuu asked Pan.   
  
"Wait a minute!" Marron said, walking up closer. "You can't be pregnant with Trunks' baby because I am!"  
  
Again, more cheesy, soap opera music.   
  
"I thought it was my baby?!" Ubuu directed his question to Marron this time.   
  
"You two were having an affair?!" Pan demanded, crossing her arms over her chest.   
  
Ubuu and Marron laughed nervously, almost like a Son. "Hehehe... Oops.."  
  
~*~  
  
"Um... hi... Bulma-san," Goten said nervously as he fidgeted around with his hands, standing in front of Bulma in her lab as she worked on a new invention.   
  
"Uh... hi, Goten," Bulma said, eyeing him suspiciously while wiping her hands on a rag. "How are you?"  
  
"Um... good..." Goten answered just as nervously as before, while glancing behind Bulma's shoulder at Bra who was closing in on her mother.   
  
Bulma rose an eyebrow and turned around to see what Goten was looking at, only to be staring down the barrel of a gun, her only daughter pointing it straight at her. "What the hell are you doing, Bra?"  
  
Bra smirked. "It's simple. With you out of the way, the Capsule Corp. empire will be all mine!"   
  
Bulma looked at Goten pleadingly, then back to Bra as tears stung her eyes. "You can't do this, Bra! You can't kill your own mother!"  
  
"Oh, yes I can," Bra smirked and without another word, she fired the gun, but surprisingly, the bullet didn't hit it's target. Bulma was thrown to the side by one powerful arm, the bullet hitting him, but only bouncing off of his hard, muscular chest. Bra stared wide-eyed into the black eyes of her father, Vegeta.   
  
"What the hell were you thinking, girl?" Vegeta demanded, not frightened in the least by the gun that was still aimed in his direction. "And you to, brat of Kakarott?"  
  
Goten smiled nervously while scratching the back of his head as Bulma and Bra had similar shocked looks on their faces.   
  
"But how did you..." Bra stuttered, her hands shaking.   
  
"I am Vegeta, Prince of all Saiyans," Vegeta said smugly as he snatched the gun away from his daughter. "I know I all." Bulma smirked as Vegeta smacked the gun across Bra's face, then Goten's, knocking them both out cold. He reached down and pulled his wife up from the floor. "Are you alright, woman?"  
  
Bulma smiled. "Yeah." She looked down at the two half-Saiyans. "Are they ok?"  
  
"Just knocked out," Vegeta replied. "But when they wake up," He smiled deviously. "they're in for one hell of a sparring match."  
  
~*~  
  
"So, let me get this straight," Trunks started, trying to understand the bizarre situation he was a part of. "I'm cheating on Marron with Pan, who's cheating on Ubuu with me, who's cheating on her with Marron. And both Pan and Marron are pregnant with either mine, or Ubuu's baby."  
  
"Uh.. sounds right," Ubuu replied.   
  
"But, Ubuu," Trunks said, suddenly pouting. "I thought I was your only one." The women raised an eyebrow at Trunks and Ubuu, who was staring at the ceiling and whistling nervously. Trunks laughed tensely. "Hehe... um... wrong line?"   
  
*~*~*~*~*  
Oh man, that was short, but funny, eh? I think so. I was actually playing with the idea of making Vegeta a rapper, or putting the Saiyan men in a boy band with the women of the Z-team as their groupies, but I had trouble coming up with an actual storyline. This, on the other hand, just jumped out at me and I had no choice but to post it. Well, check my other fics and review please! 


	4. Story 4

Sorry for taking so long to update this thing. I had a tremendously severe case of writer's block. I still do actually, but I decided to get this out here because I wanted to hurry up and update it, and I've been playing around with this idea a lot, although I don't think I did a very good job on it. This is really a disappointing chapter, it's not as funny as the first three, but hopefully it'll get a few chuckles here and there from you, most likely to all the Yamcha haters and Vegeta lovers out there. Oh yeah, and I changed my pen name too. See, I'm Leather Face now, not Cornbread Me. I don't know where the hell Leather Face came from, but that's ok. Anyway, on with my other bullshit.   
  
Special Thanks to Reviews From:  
shenlon99- Yeah, I know, I kind of did miss the point of being high, because like I said before, I've never been high, and I know weed isn't supposed to make you all... what's the word... trippy like that, but I do have a friend that told me some very interesting and similar things that happened to her when she was high. So, who knows?  
wind  
Kujabie- Yes, cornbread is the best bread ever, and anyone who objects shall get sent straight to Hell to rot in a jar of peanut butter, right?  
  
Disclaimer: If'n I had me some DBZ, I reckon I be fixin' to buy me a big 'ol house, real nice and fancy-like. Ok, I'm not from the South, so in perfect Ebonics I shall state, I ain't got no damn DBZ, aight?   
  
  
Story 4: Yamcha and Bulma, married with a kid?  
  
Bulma set down various plates of food on the table of her kitchen, and if an outsider to her little circle of contacts looked at it, they would wonder what she was on. On one side of the table were three plates, three normal, human plates of food. By on the other side, was about 10 times that amount. And if she told that outsider that that was for one person, that person would have definitely fainted.   
  
Just as she set the other stuff down, an always angry, always arrogant, prince of an almost annihilated race practically ran into the room, immediately, damn near inhaling the mountains of food on his side of the table.   
  
Bulma shook her head, her mane of blue hair shaking as she did so. "Do you ever take a break to breathe while you're eating, Vegeta?"  
  
Vegeta lifted his head and nodded it. "Of course, stupid woman. I breathe threw my nose."   
  
Bulma sighed, wondering just how long this egotistical Prince of Saiyans was going to stay under her roof, but truthfully, she'd grown quite accustomed to, and secretly fond of (very fond of) his presence.   
  
Almost as if he'd heard her thoughts, Vegeta looked up and smirked, a smirk only she knew the meaning behind. In return, she winked at him, just as her husband was walking into the kitchen.   
  
"Hey, babe," Yamcha said in that annoying voice that made Vegeta almost growl. Yamcha turned to the violently consuming Vegeta and muttered a, "Hi."   
  
Of course he got no respond from Vegeta, but Bulma threw her arms around his neck and kissed him on the cheek. This time, Vegeta did growl, purposely loud enough for Yamcha to hear.   
  
"What was that for?" Yamcha asked. The fact that Vegeta, one of the people responsible for his dying once, and who would be forever his enemy, was staying in HIS house, with HIS family, and eating HIS food. He knew that it wasn't his, it was actually Bulma's, but it was the principle of the thing...  
  
Vegeta, finally finishing his massive amount of food, stood up and said, "I just get tired of seeing that useless, pitiful, ritual of affection you humans tend to use. It's sickening."  
  
Yamcha smiled and pulled Bulma closer by the waist. "You're just angry because you don't have something as wonderful as this." He leaned over and kissed Bulma's cheek.   
  
"Why do I want some bitch to kiss all over me and tell me she loves me," He started, then added with a smirk. "when I can have her fuck me instead." He winked at Bulma, and she blushed.   
  
Luckily, those actions went unnoticed by Yamcha (hopefully), who's face recoiled in repulsion. "That's disgusting."  
  
"And why is that?" Vegeta asked. "You used to do it with Bulma, and various others while you were with her I might add, before you two decided to make it legal. I don't understand your worthless theory that it makes everything 'right' when you married."   
  
"Are you guys arguing again?"   
  
The three people in the kitchen turned around to the sound of the familiar, young voice, and to Vegeta, it belonged to someone as weak and ugly as his father. It was a shame he didn't have many of his mother's qualities, except for the eyes and the brain power. But Vegeta often questioned her intelligence too... maybe the weakling actually had a distant relative who was smart..... Nah.  
  
"Yes, they're arguing again, Plato (A/N: I read somewhere that Yamcha means "dish", and since a plate is a dish, I came up with Plato.) ," Bulma said as she crossed her arms over her chest. "What else is new?"   
  
"Nothing, apparently," replied the 12 year old as he sat down to eat. He had black hair, like his father's, and big blue eyes like his mother, all decorating a perfect mixture of Bulma and Yamcha. He was stronger than he appeared to be, a lot stronger than Yamcha even as a child, but he never worked on his training to become a better warrior, which Vegeta, of course, thought was a silly, stupid, "human thing" to do. But, keep in mind that he wanted to train more than anything. It was one of the reasons why he admired Vegeta so much, other than the fact that he was a prince of an alien race. However, it was his mother's influence that made him concentrate on the academic side of life.   
  
He looked up at his mother then, and while drowning out the sounds of his father and their forever house guest, he saw that she was eyeing Vegeta in a weird sort of way. It was a look his 12 year old mind was convinced that he couldn't comprehend, a look that was evidently sending special messages only meant for the spiky haired man across from her, because of the way he'd send her a quick smirk or wink. The pre teen cocked his head to the side, letting the argument between the two men be heard through his young ears as he ate his food.   
  
"Oh why don't you shut up and go make another one of those pathetic things you call children!" Vegeta snapped at Yamcha. Although he secretly was fond of Bulma and Yamcha's child, he just couldn't let himself get over the fact that his father was the once girl-phobic, dismal excuse for a warrior. That alone was a reason to shun him. "It's the only thing you'll ever be good at... besides being a scared little bitch."   
  
"That's it!" Yamcha shouted, slamming a fist on the table, startling his wife and son in the process. "I've had with you, Vegeta!" He extended his arm and pointed towards the door. "I want you out of my house! Now!"  
  
"Oh no, I'm so scared," Vegeta said in mock despair. "I'm so scared of the big bad BITCH, Yamcha."  
  
Bulma fought hard to keep her laughter in while eating at the same time. Her son, however, had not such luck. Plato laughed so hard he started to choke on his food. Yamcha and Vegeta both turned to look at him at the same time, Yamcha with an angry, hurt look on his face, and Vegeta with an amused, pleased look on his face.   
  
"What was that for?" Yamcha asked, his anger starting to show a tiny bit in his ki.   
  
"You got to admit, Dad," Plato replied, with a grin on his face. "It was pretty funny." He turned to the still smirking Vegeta and commented him. "Nice one, Vegeta."  
  
"Thanks, brat."  
  
"What the..." Yamcha muttered, glancing back and forth from Vegeta to his son. "What the fuck is this? Why are you two suddenly teaming up together against me?"  
  
Plato was about to reply, but Bulma stepped in. "No one's against you, Yamcha. Plato simply-"  
  
"You're against me too?!" Yamcha screamed. He was starting to twitch a little bit, and it became more violent as the seconds wore on, frightening his family but amusing Vegeta.   
  
"Yamcha, are you ok?" Bulma asked worriedly. She tried to touch his shoulder but he bolted out of his seat and pointed at her.   
  
"You're fucking him, aren't you?" He asked her out of the blue.   
  
"Wh... What?" She stammered. She looked over at Vegeta questionably, asking with her eyes if they'd covered their tracks enough so that he wouldn't suspect anything. He just shrugged, but the evil glint in his eyes told her he felt Yamcha was too stupid to recognize anything if the evidence was right in front of his face.   
  
"You heard me!" Yamcha screamed, his violent twitch starting up again.   
  
The child in the room got up and started to back away muttering, "Um... I think this is one of those conversations I'm too young to here."  
  
No one paid attention to him, however, and he decided to stay anyway. This conversation seemed to be too interesting to pass up.   
  
"I don't know when uh what you're talking about?" Bulma replied, praying to Dende that he didn't notice the slip up. Vegeta did, however, and had to control the jerking smirk on his face so that he didn't laugh out loud.   
  
"Vegeta! You're fucking Vegeta aren't you?"  
  
"Uh... what?" Bulma was scared now. Yamcha had an oddly sadistic appearance as he screamed his last sentence. He looked maniacal, crazy... he looked like... Vegeta... except Vegeta was much cooler and stronger, of course.   
  
"Answer me!" He shouted, grabbing her by the shoulders and giving her a rough shake.   
  
Vegeta was furious by this action, though it wasn't Vegeta who ran in and smacked Yamcha across the room, it was his own son. This sudden action not only got a gasp from everyone in the room, but it also got a gasp from the prince himself.   
  
"Nice one, boy," Vegeta commented, smirking at him.   
  
Plato almost copied his smirk as he brushed some wild, black hair from his face, saying, "Thanks," to the dark-haired warrior.   
  
Yamcha arose soon after, holding his head, and convulsing once again, but instead of going on the near rampage he was about to do before, or interrogating his son on why he just did that, he simply left the house. And, although not surprisingly, no one really cared. Now that Bulma and Vegeta's affair was out in the open, they didn't have to carry the burden and inconvenience of hiding it. And by the victorious smirk on the young boy's face as he sat down and devoured his now cold meal, it was obvious he wasn't too fond of his father either. The two adults just shrugged and began talking like nothing happened, the huge dent in one of the walls the only evidence of any kind of dispute at all.   
  
*~*~*~*  
Like I said, a very disappointing chapter and a bad ending. I'll try to find some more stuff to add to it so that future stories can be as funny as the first three, but if not, I might have to remove this story. You guys can always email me with ideas or say them in a review, believe me, they are highly, highly appreciated, especially since my writer's block is really severe on this story. Hopefully, I can get out another chapter within a week (hopefully), so I'll make a more worthy chapter then, and maybe even a longer one too, because I know these things have been awfully short. That is if you like short chapters, this is all up to you. You make the choice. Anyway, I'll try my best to get one out, ok? However, if I don't get a satisfactory amount of reviews... let's say about 10+ reviews, then I won't bother to continue. Simple as that. I have other fics and other ideas for fics that I could work on in the meantime. So don't forget to review and let me know. 


End file.
